What You Can Do For Your Loved One With An Addiction

Seeing someone you care about battling with addiction of any kind is a very emotional experience. We think the more you are educated about addiction, the better your chances are of being able to reach out to the affected person and help them through the whole experience. This is why today we have decided to focus not on what the person with addiction should look out for and do to get the help they need but what you, as a friend or family member can do to help.

One of the most important things to remember is that addiction isn't something that happens overnight, it's something that is a part of one's personality so it cannot be beaten overnight. If you want to help, you are going to be a strong shoulder to cry on and lean on. There are bound to be slip ups along the way and you need to find the perfect balance of support without giving in. Addiction affects everyone in the situation in different ways, so make sure to not get lost in the shuffle and find time to take care of you as well.

Show That You Will Be There No Matter What

The best thing you can do when you are doing your best to be there for someone you care about is to show them that you will be there no matter what. This means, you must show your unconditional love. While this isn't exactly the easiest thing you can do, you can do so by being the person they can go to no matter what; even when they make mistakes that many people would never forgive them for. Now, we are not saying you should allow them to push you around, but you should make sure they know that there is nothing in the world they can do that would make you leave their side. It doesn't mean you're agreeing with every single thing they do, but that you are at least going to be there and hear them out when the rest of the world may not want to give them the time of day.

Listen Without Talking

This is probably one of the toughest things to do during the whole experience but you need to teach yourself to be a shoulder for the person who is hurting and dealing with addiction without talking some of the time. Of course, giving your opinion is important and from time to time, they may come to you specifically for that reason but there are times when all of us just need someone who is going to listen no matter what. It's amazing how beneficial a simple pair of ears can be. Sometimes speaking out your thoughts alone can help you work through the toughest situations and allow you to find better solutions. When you are having a conversation, it can be harder to come to the same conclusions.

Don't Become an Enabler

Another very tough thing about caring for someone who is struggling with any addiction is that you want to help. You need to find the perfect balance between helping and enabling. Enabling isn't going to teach the person anything. This means, do not give them a place to stay or money if they are not showing you that they are taking the proper steps in order to make changes. Especially when someone is addicted to drugs or alcohol, even small amounts of money can help them get their drug of choice. Keep this in mind when helping them out. Your best bet would be to help them by taking them out to eat or paying off a bill for them until they can get back on their feet. Of course, this isn't exactly going to be easy because when you care about someone, you automatically lean towards wanting to do anything within your power for them. Remember, you cannot do everything for them, but you can be there to help.

Take Time For Yourself

Helping out someone who has an addiction problem can be very exhausting and this is why it's important that you remember to take some time for yourself. While this can be tough, it's extremely important. If you want to be there for anyone; you need to really be there for yourself at well. If this means you need to turn your phone off for a few hours, a day or even an entire weekend; go for it.

Make sure that you are focusing on your dreams, your future and your job. A lot of the time these things can take the back burner because it's hard not to feel bad for the person you care about so deeply. However, keep in mind that at the end of the day, you have to live your life and make yourself happy. Helping others is fine but you need to put your life above anyone else's because you are the one who has to deal with the consequences. Do not push away those who are close to you and try your best not to cancel important get-togethers just because your friend needs you or is having a bad day. The last thing you want to happen is for your own life to begin to spiral out of control.

As strange as this may sound, you may even want to go to therapy yourself. Giving out so much of your personal time and much-needed energy can be very draining and sometimes you will forget how to take care of yourself. Speaking with a professional may end up being exactly what you need in order to keep both worlds separate but in working order. The worse that is going to happen is that you end up not liking it but at least you gave it a shot.

Set Boundaries and Stick to Them

Setting boundaries is one of the hardest things to do, especially when it comes to those that you care about but your friend needs to understand that there have to be boundaries in place in order for your relationship to continue. You need to let them know that you cannot be there rock all of the time and that you need to focus on your own life, as we mentioned above. Let them know you will do everything in your power to help but if it starts getting tough that you may need a break. Telling them this ahead of time is going to help keep everyone on the same page and make sure you don’t end up hurting their feelings.

Do Not Take Part in Activities That May Lead to Relapse

While this is a pretty obvious step, we think it's important to mention anyway. Depending on the type of addiction your friend or family member has, you need to be sure to avoid putting them into situations or exposing them to what they are addicted to. This means, avoid going to a bar with them (even if you are just stopping by quickly) if they are addicted to alcohol. The same goes for having alcohol in the home. While this may not be a trigger for everyone, it can be for many people and the best thing to do is be safe because that's much better than being sorry later on. If you need to, just ask them what kinds of things normally set them off so you can avoid doing anything of the sort. This is going to help make sure both of you are on the same page.

Help Them Come Up With a Future Plan

A great thing you can do when trying to help your friend get over their addiction is to help them plan for the future. You don't want them to focus so much on the past, all their regrets and the mistakes they may have made along the way. Make sure to have discussions with them about what their dreams are and what steps they would like to take to get there. Getting them to set their sights on the future is going to help them keep on track. Whenever they start feeling down and as though they may want to relapse, they can think about the things that motivate them and this should steer them back onto the right track.

Help Them Get the Help They Require

While it's normally pretty tough to get someone to accept help, a lot of the times if you do so in a very gentle manner; it may just work. A great way to get someone to notice they have a problem is by offering that you will go with them. A lot of the time, this is going to make them feel much more comfortable about reaching out. A great place for them to start is to go to meetings with others who have similar problems or to find a therapist in the area that specializes in their specific addiction. With time, patience and motivation; they can and will beat this.

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